The Doctor's Version of Valentine's Day
by Ms. Unusual-in-Groovy-Ways
Summary: Like normal men, the 11th Doctor and his best friend Rory Williams forget one of the most important holidays that there is - Valentine's Day. Read as these two morons try to make a Valentine's Day that neither Amy nor the TARDIS can ever forget. *Holiday one-shot*


**A/N: **Hello world! Here is a little story that I came up with last night when I should have been sleeping. Hope you enjoy it!

Happy (St.) Valentine's Day,

Ms. Unusual-in-Groovy-Ways

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***waves* Hi, I'm merely a human girl. Even if I could, I will never own _Doctor Who_ so please stop reminding me.**

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Traditionally, this anecdote would begin with a lengthy yet stunning description of the early morn, with graceful sunshine flitting across the peaceful scene like the steady tide. I would also tell you of the gently sleeping passengers, dreaming quietly of colors and happiness like small children. The air would be silent yet humming with a shy joy that is masked by the fresh chill of an early morning.

But we're on the TARDIS so even if it had actual working windows, we're in the Time Vortex so, technically, there isn't really a morning since time isn't really working at this precise moment in the Time Vortex. So there's no morning, nor sunlight, nor really anything that one wants to wake up to...really.

Unless it's the Doctor you want to wake up to.

Then this scene is perfectly all right then.

The Doctor is pacing the control of the TARDIS as his companions lazily sleep in. At first, he had entertained himself by tinkering anf fiddling with little scrap projects, but then the worse thing in the universe slammed down upon him:

boredom.

The Doctor hate, hate, _hates_ being bored. It is the worst thing a Time Lord can feel, in all honesty. Think about: you have all of space and time at your feet, jusy waiting to be part of your daily whimsy - planets and galaxies and millenia just itching to be destroyed by Cyberman or those fatty babies. But when you're forced to sit and think - ugh. The Doctor rather have pain. At least there's some good form of pain - not PG or K, but good pain nonetheless. But even having your head chewed off by rancid spider babies sounds better than sitting there with an empty head. At least you could think about and experience the pain. But boredom - gross. It was nothing. And the Doctor knew a thing or two about nothing: _the Void_, dude. _Hell_.

The Doctor finally has had enough. He reaches his full height and straightens his bow tie, and, with a snap of his red suspenders, he marches to bang on his married couple's door. Just before he can though, a fully dressed but not at all awake Rory shuffles out, obviously groggy as he leaves his sleepy wife behind.

"There you are!" the Doctor says rather loudly, forgetting or ignoring the fact that the door is still open and he can wake Amy. "I've dying of boredom all relative morning and I'm in desperate need of an adventure. So come, come, Pond!"

As Rory gently closes the door, the Doctor latches on to his friend's arm and tugs 'im along to the central room.

"So where should we go? Ancient Egypt, the year 895,145,798, Raxacoricofallapatorius...oh God, anything but Clom. How about a play? I was thinking about seeing _Our American Cousin_, but the only time it was ever good, the President was shot...hmmm...maybe we can skip that part and see..."

Rory sits down gingerly and asks the time as the Doctor, interrupting his spiel.

"Oh, only eight o'clock," he announces while checking his naked wrist. "But that doesn't matter! Where to, my good man?!"

Rory runs his hands through his hair, releasing an irritated sigh. "Doctor, I need help. I've forgotten something that I know is important but can't -"

Rory's request is halted by the TARDIS as it shifts dangerously to the left. It sends the Doctor and Rory flying to the opposite side, as if trying to knock 'em unconscious. The TARDIS continues to turn and launch violently, but the Doctor intervenes. He pulls levers and pushes buttons and kicks and curses and prays 'til the TARDIS finally stops, landing roughly.

The two guys get up gingerly, looking at each other wearily. However, as with cats, curiosity gets the better of them and they race to the door, running at our to see where they are.

Green.

That's what they see.

Just green.

Hills and fields and plains of grass that is every shade and tint of the color green that one cannot even imagine. All around them, 360, seas and oceans and skies of pure green. The TARDIS could probably be seen for miles as it sat in that...bowl of..._verde_. It is almost disgusting that the amount of that one color can be so...everywhere.

The Doctor would rather be bored right now.

As those two looked around looking for something that wasn't rolling or goo-ishly colored, the Doctor swiped a finger in the air and then licked it. After savoring it like a fine wine, the Doctor smacked his lips.

"February the fourteenth. Roman empire. In the year of our Lord."

"What?" Rory looked at his friend like if he sprouted wings and a tutu.

"That's where we are. Don't know why though."

"Does have something to do with what I forgot?"

"I don't know. Do you have any idea what you forgot in the first place? Maybe the TARDIS is trying to help."

"The thing is, I can't. I've felt like this for days now, but every time I feel like I'm having a revelation - nothing. Like it runs away from me."

"Well..." The Doctor rubs his chin and taps his foot. With his other hand, he counts on his fingers. "It's not her birthday. Not your anniversary. Can't be Christmas 'cause we'd be in London as an alien spaceship tries to bomb us...I don't know, Bastille Day?"

Rory scoffs and rolls his eyes, but at that time, that oh so familiar cartoon lightbulb pops up from his head, basically slapping him with its obviousness. "Doctor...what day is it?"

"February the fourteenth. Why?"

Rory curses from under his breath and staggers backwards. As the shock fills his stomach, he goes on to bang his head against the TARDIS.

"Oi, mate. Watch it!" The Doctor garbs Rory by the shoulders and rips him away. "I know she ain't no the belle of the ball, but respect her, man. I wouldn't go banging Amy."

Rory stares at him incredulously. "I hope not."

"Now what's wrong about today?"

"Valentine's Day, you pathetic Time Lord! The day where, despite the fact the both of 'em are supposed to show their undying love, the man's got to impress his girl with flowers, chocolates, stupid drugstore teddy bears...You know, red hearts and..." Rory merely mentions his fingers to signal what he means.

"Oh. Oh!" The Doctor has caught on to the subject. He then pulls Rory farther from the TARDIS. "Good crap, that's today? Oh man, the TARDIS is going to kill me."

"What?" Rory just started at his Doctor, wondering what his head was like: an encyclopedia of information or a pile of coffee-stained stickynotes.

"I always forget that holiday. The TARDIS's got feelings, you know? And she gets hurt when I get like that. She feels unappreciated and all that. She's gonna kill me if I forget again."

"Really?" That's all Rory can say. "Really?! I mean, seriously, man? That's all you can say? That the TARDIS is gonna get sad? I've a wife! An actual wife that I love in both senses of the word that can get as fiery as 'er hair! And you worry over the spaceship that you feel up when you think we're not looking! Listen, you lanky dork, if Amy doesn't get her Valentine's Day, I'm dead. Then after she's done dancing on my twice-times-three-dead ashes, she's coming after you. So wave that light-up stick thingy and make Valentine's Day happen!"

The Doctor wears an expression of pure and utter fear. He holds his hands daintily over his chest like an embarrassed 1940's housewife. He gulps nervously before saying, "I've a plan."

"Will it work?"

"Don't know. But right now, I'm just hoping that my head is just making up that scary image of Amy chasing me and cutting off some very important things."

The two run back inside and after about twenty-five minutes of shuffling and running and making the TARDIS frakin' move (!), Amy finally walks up.

She wants to go to back to bed immediately.

The TARDIS console room is pink. Like sickly pink. So pink I want to back to that green hilly place and have a salad. The place is covered in lacey doilies and hearts and teddy bears and there's a chocolate fountain in the corner that, according to the Doctor stained shirt, attacked him and tried to violate his rights.

Amy just states at the sight with a half confused, half bemused expression. Only after Rory kisses her on the cheek and welcomes her with a stuffed, beary Cupid does she giggle and smile.

"What's all this?" she asks. "Is this for me?"

"Yes."

"Partly."

"Okay...," Rory grabs his wife hand. "Ignore him. This is my gift to you, sweetie. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh! You didn't have to do all this, you know that!" Of course she says that stereotypical phrase! Every man appreciates it _so_ much.

"Oh, this is only the beginning. Doctor, are we here?"

The Doctor smiles his signature grin with extra gusto this morning. He flips a switch, pulls a lever, and does a jig before ushering his lovebirds out the door.

The planet is beautiful. The ground is soft like a luxurious blanket and is a faint lavender color. The trees are silver and they adorned with a halo of pig pink roses that smell like the rain on a peaceful day. The sky is a mixture of oranges and pinks and purples. It is a gorgeous sight, but none better than the waterfall that is front of them. Not even the luscious flora around them can distract them from the shining, brightly white water that falls. It is like diamond white and it feels cool as they the gentle spray mists them.

"Planet Venus," the Doctor calls out. "The most romantic planet that has ever graced the universe."

But Rory and Amy aren't listening. As they kiss at the foot of the falling water, the sun rises over the planet, bathing the silver and metallic scene with a golden light.

The Doctor smiles to himself as he leans against the TARDIS.

"Happy Valentine's Day, old girl."

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**A/N: **Thank guys for reading this little project that literally just came to me in the shower. I mean, I was thinking about my date with my couch and Netflix tonight (watching 10's regeneration into 11!) and this came out like Athena, honey! So, please review. If you liked it, loved it, hated it - just review! I mean, give me something good before I cry my eyes out, really. LOL.

P.S. Oh, and I do not own the cover picture. I just found it on Pinterest.


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